JWR Articles: Film/DVD - Blood Junkie with the short Film Plastic Fangs (Director/Writer: Drew Rosas) - May 24, 2011

Blood Junkie with the short Film Plastic Fangs

3 3
72 min.

The scariest thing is the script

In the category of something old is new again, director/writer Drew Rosas has slung together a horror flick that has a touch of camp (literal: the setting; figuratively the costuming and accessories) that was made for a song (to the tune of $6,000), requisite skin (even a credit for Rachel’s boobs: Kelly Cunningham) and the flicker of a fine, late-inning plot twist that only makes one wish the rest of the film had been more thoughtfully prepared.

The guys (Nick Sommer as Craig Wilson; Mike Johnson as best friend Teddy Bender) are allegedly looking to score with some chicks at an abandoned campground but get considerable screen time “horsing around” with each other. Their twin 1989-moustaches, cheek grab and throw-away line “I seriously want you man,” don’t auger well for straight consummation while the quartet of co-eds inhale hard liquor from the brown paper-bag (really!) wrappings in the middle of nowhere.

Rachel (Emily Treolo) loves to take her morning exercise class with TV trainer Billy the Butt (Bobby Ciraldo makes a convincing pound loser as he thrusts along with the home audience in skimpy shorts that threaten to have a wardrobe malfunction and shift to the pole vault competition—there’s more of the same on the bonus reel). Friend Laura (Sarah Luther) can’t wait to get enough cash together to drink her way into oblivion. When her babysitting charge (and 8-year-old brother Andy—played with wide-eyed interest by Brady Cohen) is gifted with emergency cash while her parents take off for the weekend, it’s straight to the mini-mart to stock up the booze.

Coincidentally meeting the two musketeers who delight in ogling the babes, making plans to hook up and fun of “never-laid Wade,” the stage is set for a weekend in the country (ant-killing Andy has happily accepted a bribe from his sister to keep his mouth shut about the coming hours of debauchery when their minders return), where—of course—there’s an abandoned chemical factory whose night operator’s body was never found after the “terrible accident” years ago.

Out of kindness to all, no more plot here. However, when The Creature (Andrew Swant) finally emerges, the potential for terror actually lessens (gas masks seem almost normal in our largely polluted planet). Blood and guts fans will have a few moments of requisite gore which can be admired or happily laughed at depending upon your, er, taste for oozing crimson and savaged body parts.

With lines like, “What is this place?” while staring at a huge empty factory that had just been described to all at the previous night’s bonfire, the script sputters on all cylinders—sendups or “homage to an era” need to be just as smart as the originals. But stick around for the finish and savour an uncomfortable notion that could trace its way back to Lord of the Flies. JWR

Plastic Fangs, 2005
12 min.
Four stars

Much better is Rosas’ inventive take on Halloween. Accompanied by accordion and banjo, a pair of surf boarding lovers illicitly hook up, don their ghoulish apparel and fly through small-town Wisconsin with a deathly crescendo of smashing pumpkins. It’s wayward destruction in the land of Elvis devotees. Now there’s a subject worthy of further development! JWR

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