JWR Articles: Film/DVD - Hatchet (Director/Writer: Adam Green) - December 24, 2007
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Hatchet

.5 .5
84 min.

None will be missed

Writer/director Adam Green’s attempt at a slasher flick fails on all counts:

The numerous atrophied body parts evoke chuckles at best, nary a gasp; the lame dialogue (“About as fun as a bag of dicks.”) makes one wish for a foreign-language version with no sub-titles; the plot is as lost as the Bayou swamp tour boat; the acting skills match the script; the “monster” (Kane Hodder as Victor Crowley) would never be convicted by any court for clearing the set of bimbos (Mercedes McNab—valiantly enduring the blonde “jokes,” Joleigh Fioreaventi), lecher/businessman (Joel Murray), directionless tour guide (Parry Shen), titty-loving, ever-so-token black (Deon Richmond), stereotypical “older” tourist couple (Patrioka Darbo, Richard Riehle), revenge-seeking daughter/sister (Tamara Feldman) and hero-without-a-cause (Joel Moore).

Only a brief, nicely sculpted bass clarinet line provides any redeeming quality.

Let’s hope the tax credits were worth it. JWR

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