Propaganda buffet a reel education

Vancouver curator Bill Taylor is owed a debt of thanks for compiling these seven offerings that are a spectacular display of ignorance and fear mongering from decades past. Thank goodness those days are over and lesbians, gays, bisexuals and the transgendered are accepted as equals by society at large! (Hello there Elsie "just shut up" Wayne and the Canadian Alliance who prefer the "don't know, don't tell doctrine".)

In Once upon a Honeymoon (directed with a marvellous sense of fun by dance choreographer Gower Champion) the eager-to-please angel flits down to Earth (getting a bit of a draft up his toga: special effects on a $10 budget) to assist a newlywed couple whose composer-husband must pen a new tune for his employer's Prima Donna before ravishing his patient bride in their long over due honeymoon.

The Pixie dust is a hoot (Tinker Bell would be proud) even if it comes across more like anthrax than magic sparkles. But soon the wife bursts into song, her hubby gets to the double bar and an impromptu dance sequence is accompanied by their invisible benefactor (well, of course he can play the piano, duh!).

And what an angel he is, opting to leave the lovers to themselves, knowing full well that his successful mission will be handsomely rewarded when he returns to his Heavenly Daddy—or what's a heaven for?

Bill Brose's, Red Light Green Light, Meeting Strangers, which followed, had a far different tone giving stern warnings to the kids that the only kind of "dangerous strangers" are gay. The fact that most pedophiles are heterosexual must have been lost on the editing floor.

My favourite of this collection was Soapy The Germ Fighter. Despite the fact that young Billy's tub scenes might, in today's climate, might be censored as kiddie porn there was much to learn: Soap isn't for sissies—even Cowboys wash up after a hard day in the saddle—then put on clean clothes (but don't shower first) before heading into town; Girls should wash their hair (discreetly shown doing so in the sink) at least every two weeks; flies carry germs ON THEIR FEET (this was emphasized vociferously).

Subliminally, the whole piece came across (unintentionally, of course—that's always the most fun) as a different kind of wet dream where the uninvited sticky stuff can be instantly washed away by the all-knowing Soapy who's just waiting be picked up and worked into a lather.

Perversion For Profit is a dozen minutes of near-facts and bigotry delivered with compelling "authority" by George Putnam, the "Outstanding News Reporter." He revels in delivering the dirt on pornography and how "The Communist Masters of Deceit" are behind everything. That its basis is cash indisputable, as is its easy availability to adults and children alike. But his zealousness reminded me of the Bard's great line "Methinks he doth protest too much." I expect George's research into the graphic evidence of evil and perversion (the goat didn't look worried!) was as extensive as his self-ministrations to his findings were exhaustive. Double Standards 'R' Us.

The set of Anti-Disney Videos was as ridiculous as they were indicative of the Religious Right's narrow, self-serving focus. The evil of providing same-sex benefits to Disney employees was decried; hosting an annual Gay Day (where the outrageous footage was entertaining and well, kind of Goofy!) was scorned and swishy voice-overs in animated films (perhaps it should be renamed The Lion Queen?) were thrown out as valid reasons for boycotting the world's biggest entertainment factory.

And furthermore, butts, boobs and questionable activities—there's a double entendre in anything if you look far enough—have invaded cartoon features to the point where they're no better than porno (but what are the parents to do when dragged to the cinema by their young ones?). That claim would be the same as reading anything more than good clean fun into the bath scene in Ben Hur!

In The Report: The Gay Agenda, one-sided reporting was shown at its best. Spurred on by the economic and moral-suasion of organized religion (but what did Jesus and his twelve disciples do to relieve their tensions while on the road?), the gay community was vilified with gusto. And with "expert" testimony from two recovered homosexual men (and not a few "experts" in human behaviour) we learned that there is a cure. Hallelujah!

The "converted" revealed that they had spent considerable time and effort in their doomed quest to become full-service fags, but they came across as more unable to move up from one-night stands than born-again breeders. For them, the quoted mantra: "Today's conquest is tomorrow's competition" may have been too close to home.

Still, learning that a shopping bag on the floor of a public washroom stall indicates that two men are engaging in sex (the bag hides the second set of feet, didn't you know?) was a revelation. Can't wait for the next sale!

Mark Woods' rebuttal, The Heterosexual Agenda, is a clever foil to the U.S. report, but needs to have a more consistently earnest tone for the parody to keep its punch.

So what's the moral of them all? Inserting body parts into the openings of others can result in ripping, tearing, ecstasy, love and babies. Caveat emptor!

Check Readers' Forum (May 3, 2007) for a first-hand interpretation of Red Light Green Light, Meeting Strangers.

Curator	Bill Taylor
Once Upon a Honeymoon	Gower Champion, U.S., 1956
Red Light Green Light, Meeting Strangers	Bill Brose, U.S. 1965
Soapy the Germ Fighter	Director unknown, U.S. 1955
Perversion for Profit	Citizens for Decent Literature, U.S. 1965
Anti-Disney Videos	Various, U.S. 1990s
The Report: The Gay Agenda	Director unknown, U.S. early 1990s
The Heterosexual Agenda	Mark Kenneth Woods, Canada 2001