Ah, how to write the next best seller? How to find artistic inspiration but also bed privileges? How to get through another dull workday (although happy to accept the generous pay cheque)? But finally, having harvested the germ of a book amidst a tsunami of sperm, how to say goodbye to your temporary muse and then move on to further couplings for the next volume of precious prose?
The answer?
300 letters.
Crypto meister Jero (Cristian Mariani most at home without shirt or pants) hopes he’s found the next love of his life via Grindr. Poet-in-search-of-a-subject Tom (equally “bareable” Gastón Frías) happily meets up then soon shacks up with a man who has been advised by his best friend, Esteban (always there for him Bruno Giganti), to “fuck till you never know he existed” in order the wash aways the memory of the last great “you’ll do now”.
So untactfully dumped on their first fuckaversary (how poetic is that timing?), Tom tries to explain everything to his sudden ex Jero with a queer-pink box of 300 letters where, hopefully, all will be revealed and understood.
As a premise for Lucas Ana’s film (co-written with Gustavo Cabaña), the result should be better than it is. The biggest problem (and nobody’s fault—either it’s on or it’s not), there is no chemistry let alone heat between the two principals. Lingering kisses, in-bed romps, even last-minute blowjobs readily fulfill the sexual attraction but never really cements the love dare not speak its name—although here, just say it.
As a narrative technique, the letters (oh so conveniently numbered—seems a bit, er, anal from a writer whose lines should not be interrupted or the “effect” is lost), nonetheless dutifully serve their purpose in providing backstory and flashback scenes.
Curiously, perhaps importantly, both men have their, apparently, queer boundaries. Jero seems reluctant to hold hands in public, while Tom professes that his parents aren’t quite ready to meet Mr. Right Now yet. Both situations only reinforce the notion that the only thing holding this disparate pair’s relationship together is underneath the sheets, not proudly out on the streets.
Those who might be wondering how deep or shallow their own relationships might be are encouraged to take in a viewing, even as—from stem to stern—the joy or lack thereof of dating on social media apps may once more prove the old adage that “you can’t tell a book by its cover”—so much better to take it off the shelf and read it first. JWR